Lynette Bishop Snell

Dogs are our link to paradise. They do not know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace. –Milan Kundera

 

Ruh-roh, Rastro September 10, 2007

Filed under: Reflections on Life in General — Administrator @ 5:41 pm

Isn’t it weird that just a few days ago I posted that tribute to my other dog Fenway? Now, today I am staring Astro’s imminent mortality in the face.

All weekend long he was lethargic and mopey. Not at all Astro-like. So today I took him to the Vet. They did an ultrasound and found a massive tumor attached to his spleen. They suggested emergency surgery at a 24 hour clinic but I opted to wait until tomorrow to have his surgery. IF he survives the night, and IF he survives the surgery, they will send the tumor to pathology to determine what it is.

He could live for a few hours, days, weeks, months, or live to bury me. But then again…couldn’t that happen to any of us?

I know, I know. He’s just a dog. I hear it. I understand it. But unless you are a true animal lover, you cannot possibly appreciate the sorrow that is coursing through my blood right now. It’s nothing to what I feel when I learn of news about my husband. That is ten million times greater. But it does not lessen my grief for my dog anymore. In fact, I think my grief is more so because I know he’s just a dog. I can feel free to let lose and sob like a big ole girl. Wait…I am a girl. Anyway, I don’t have to “pull myself together” and “try to move on” and “be strong for my kids” when my dog goes. I can just let go and fully embrace my grief.

It’s not often one gets that beautiful, melancholy gift.

Ruh-Roh Astro.

 
 

Future Considerations

Filed under: Reflections on Life in General — Administrator @ 10:10 am

Do you wonder what you will be when you grow up?

I do…almost every day, especially as my kids grow older and I see them developing their own personalities, forming the tastes and motivations that will guide their lives. And I am reminded, “Oh yeah, I used to have dreams, too.” Suddenly, crazy thoughts begin to roll around in my brain. They all begin with “What if…?”

What if…I got a job?
What if…I went back to school and got a Master’s degree in Writing?
What if…I start writing magazine articles instead of pursuing only novel writing?
What if…I find something that stimulates my intellect and causes me to grow as an individual?
What if…my dreams comes true?

So I have begun exploring the possibilities…schools, jobs, anything I can do while my kids are at school but that doesn’t cut into my family time while they are home (too much, anyway). I don’t know where these considerations may lead, but I am at least interested in following the path for a while.

What if…indeed?