Heartbreak and Loss

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I am finally having breast reduction surgery after dreaming of it for many years. I’ve been looking forward to it since I got the approval letter from the insurance company back in August.

My friends have rallied around me, setting up meals for my family, offering to help out with the kids. My parents are here from Florida to help out as well. One friend even made me a “before” and “after” cake of a realistic nature (let your mind fill in the blank). Tomorrow is it.

Then tonight happened.

I went to bed earlier than normal. Exhausted and excited, I quickly fell sound asleep. Around 1 a.m. a loud banging noise woke me up. My husband was jumping out of bed, hollering Astro’s name. I was immediately awake.

Astro had some sort of seizure and within less than a minute, he had passed away. There was nothing we could do. It was quick, he suffered for a few short moments, and then he was quietly, peacefully gone. After sobbing, grieving and getting my mom out of bed, we began to plan for the big day. Now it’s just big for other reasons.

Knowing we could not carry Astro’s body out of the house in front of the kids, Tracy and I struggled to carry him out ourselves tonight. He is now resting in the back of my car.

The problem is, I am going in for surgery and have to leave the house at 7:15 a.m. We left a message for our vet on his cell phone, hoping he would call us back, but he has not. I hope he’ll call early. It’s now 2 a.m. and I am not sure I’ll be able to close my eyes tonight. I know I won’t be able to sleep. And the minutes are going by very slowly.

So for now, we sit, heartbroken and grieving. And lonely.

We will miss you, Astro.

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Divorced. Mom. Friend. Writer. That's who I am.
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2 Responses to Heartbreak and Loss

  1. Rita says:

    We do and will miss him, too. You may feel lonely, but you are not alone in your heartbreak. He was a good dog and had the best of families.

  2. Patti says:

    Im crying reading this. I know exactly how you feel. Its a terrible feeling and such a loss of a special wonderful member of your family. I still miss Dexter…at least once a day I miss him.

    Glad your surgery went well! I know you are so excited! xooxox P

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