March Madness

I feel like I’ve been suffering from a form of madness for so long now, that it almost seems natural and part of who I have become.  And perhaps that is not such a bad thing.   My madness has taken the form of the “re’s:”  Re-inventing myself, re-learning who I am and what I am, re-evaluating what is important to me and what is a deal breaker, re-assessing my goals and in what direction I wish my life to head.

In order to figure out all this madness mess, I have started reading quotes, blogs, journals, and the Bible in my attempts to have clarity.  I want to make good decisions, based on all available information, checking, referencing and just bouncing ideas off each other.  The really interesting thing that has come from all this reading is this:  The Bible contains some really good stuff!
I always try to read multiple view points just to ensure I know where I stand on any given topic, where I might reconsider my beliefs, and just to simply learn about others.   What I’ve seen time and again is that when I read an article, a blog, or a book, then follow it up with some verses from the Bible, the Bible always coincides with what I have just read.  

God is a pretty incredible being, always surprising me, showing up in places I least expect him and in music or on TV in ways I would never have considered.  But I know that God can do anything.  If you believe that God created the entire universe, and in my case, I do, then why wouldn’t God use anything/anyone/anyplace to get his point across?  

I avoided going to church for so long, years in fact.  I just didn’t want to hear what God was going to tell me.   So God began using things outside of church. And suddenly, I found myself longing to go to church and hear more.  I wanted to be around others who studied the Bible and prayed and believed in God.  So, I started going again.  And God still surprised me, using teenagers to teach me (who does that?).  

So here I sit, with the month of March marching onward and slowing down for no one, and I continually commune with the “re’s.”  Today I came across a verse that I’ve read many times before, but today was the first time I had read it from my new standpoint.  It’s in Matthew 17 and it reads: 

“If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Nothing. Will. Be. Impossible.  

Part of my “re’s” is re-evaluating what I should be praying for.  I heard yesterday that instead of asking, “Why, God, am I going through this?  How will I ever survive?” I should be asking, “Now that I am going through this, what would you have me do next?”   Then get ready, cause His answer might shock the living daylights out of me. 

So, here I am.  I’m asking God, “What would you have me do next?”  And I’m holding on tight, cause you know what month it is…March.  And that means one thing.

Madness.

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Divorced. Mom. Friend. Writer. That's who I am.
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