How many weeks have passed since I, as my friend Rita so blithely stated, “decided I like words again?” Too many. Apparently I only liked them for one day for I have not blogged since!
In my own defense, I have written a thousand blog posts. They’ve all just been kept locked safely in the confines my mind. I went to Las Vegas for a girls’ weekend in February…I had so many bizarre experiences that I could hardly wait to get home and write. Did I? Uh, no.
Lately, I’ve been dealing with a completely different situation, although it is not new: Tracy might have cancer again. Tracy (my dear husband), began having muscle pain and loss of strength in his left arm (opposite arm from his Sarcoma site) last October. He immediately got on the ball in January (ha) and found a doctor. After countless MRI’s, a thing called a myelogram (in which a surgeon sticks a needle into your spine and injects dye, then follows the dye up your spinal cord via an X-ray), and a PET scan (in which radioactive material is injected into your blood stream and attaches itself to any item pulsating with blood, like your heart, your liver, or, as in Tracy’s case, an infection or cancer), it was determined officially that Tracy has “something” in his C4-C5 vertebrae area. Oh, and it happens to be wrapped around the artery which feeds blood to the brain. Any nicking of the artery could cause a massive stroke with paralysis. Nice, huh? ( If you are interested in following our progress, you can check out Tracy’s blog. Who knows…I might even blog a little on that site myself!)
As of Monday, when he visited the Cleveland Clinic in Topeka (just kidding, it’s in Cleveland), he finally learned that because of the tricky position of this “thing,” he must have a surgical biopsy, instead of a needle biopsy. So for spring break, we are heading to the exciting metropolis of Cleveland.
While everyone else heads to sunny Florida, we head to cold, dreary Cleveland. Other than the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame, I’m not sure there is anything worth seeing in Cleveland (no offense to any Cleveland-ites). I keep telling my kids, “LIsten, only dull, boring people go to Florida. All the really cool kids go to Cleveland for Spring Break.” So far they’re not buying it. I know this because of the way their eyes roll back into their heads and they walk away, mumbling about how mom has finally lost it.
Anyway, off we go. I’m not totally stressed yet, but I am feeling the effects of this situation. Hence the withdrawing into my little cocoon and refusing to open the program on my computer where I pen these pithy and informative blog entries. Until this week.
The weather changed.
The sun came out, temperatures rose, and I could not stand to be anywhere but outside. I worked in the yard (I really don’t enjoy yard work that much), I went for a family walk (I’m SO not into exercise), I rearranged the patio furniture, removing their winter coats and storing them happily in the garage…I even watched Florida (Go Gators!) beat Oregon while standing in my kitchen, watching the game on the little TV so I could be next to the open door, enjoying the warmth and sunshine, instead of on the larger TV in the basement. I tell you…something is changing inside me.
So here I sit…at last, writing…it feels surprisingly natural to me…something I never can quite get away from or forget. I think that is a sure sign that it is an innate desire, a natural way of expressing myself. I’m not promising daily entries, so don’t expect it. I am promising to write every once in a while, because it’s what I do and what I need to do.
And, yes, I have missed it.
Welcome home, Me!