Mid-night ramblings…

She lays awake, darkness permeating all things around her, while her mind is drenched in daylight–robust with activity–as she plans, figures, wonders, worries, and even dreams.

The story of her life has just turned a page, revealing the next chapter.  Too agitated to sleep, she rises from her bed and grabs paper and pen where she sets her madly whirling thoughts down, pulling one out at a time, depositing it then on the pages beneath her hand.

Is it the excitement drumming through her veins that keeps peaceful slumber at bay?  Yes, most certainly.  But fear mixes equally in the brew.  She can only see a vague outline of this new chapter.  The words have not yet settled into place, revealing the story that would soon unfold.

Should she feel guilty for the excitement of this new adventure?  Surely not.  For what would her life be if she did not have adventure to keep her days lively?  Bland, dreary and uninspiring.  Instead, she had never felt more alive, more vibrant, more inspired than at this exact moment.

What if she is disappointed?  Nonsense.  She has everything to gain and nothing to lose.  A blank canvas rests at her disposal, or a blank page, as it were, to make her own creation, to write her own story.  She will grasp her destiny and shape it as she sees fit.  Besides, where is the adventure in not trying something for fear of disappointment?  She is uncertain, and things might not be as she dreams, but at least she is trying and in that, she knows she will never be disappointed.

Exhilaration and challenge now mix with the excitement and fear.  Nothing will ever be the same for her again!

Nothing will ever be the same.

A moment of sadness stills her pen as this somber thought enters the fray.  Everything she loves, everything she knows, will change in her absence.  So will she.  The person she is now will fade, morphing into a new creature.

And yet, she considers, it is as if she is leaving a party, a wonderful party, at the height of its frivolity.  Life is good.  Life is full.  And now, it will soon all be new.  All will change and once again she will learn the dance that will keep her life interesting, challenging and, well, alive!

Spent, and with waning enthusiasm, her pen slows.  Dusk begins to settle in the recesses of her mind.  A shadow drifts and seeks to claim the rest of the day’s light.

With heavy lids and a satisfied smile on her lips, she lays her pen down and returns to bed, darkness once again permeating everything around, and now in, her.

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